Matt and Julie1 have been married for almost 12 years and have two young children. They had come to see us as their marriage was in crisis. Both were bitterly unhappy, and the only way forward that they could see was to separate. In a last ditch effort, they came for marriage counselling although both did not expect much to happen. Their biggest problem seemed to be in their communication as both had taken to criticising and verbally abusing each other frequently, where there was contempt and anger on both sides. They felt totally disappointed with each other and could not get passed the arguments. Their relationship was suffering as there was no love and no connection and both were living separate lives. What had gone so wrong for this couple?
After much probing and trying to get to the heart of their problems, it appeared that the main problems in this marriage was attributed to the major stresses they were both experiencing. Some of these major stresses included Matt's recent job loss, Julie's interfering parent's who were seemingly destroying their marriage and the stress of raising 2 young children under 5. Julie was feeling very alone and was not receiving any support from Matt. Matt on the other hand felt very unappreciated and also felt unsupported since his recent job loss. Instead of both unifying and getting through this together, both had tried to deal with things on their own, where they would blame and take out their frustrations on each other, which was crippling this marriage.
The breakthrough for this couple came after our second session where both had started to realise how much the stresses and problems they were experiencing were destroying their marriage. They both realised how much they needed each other and how in these times, they needed to provide a place of support whilst also providing for each others emotional needs.
Matt who was bitterly disappointed at losing the job that he loved just needed to feel appreciated again. Julie, on the other hand, needed Matt's support and for him to just listen when she felt angry with her parents, especially when they started interfering and putting pressure on her. Both had started to feel the love and support they once had for each other.
Both Matt and Julie who were about to throw away their marriage (once full of love and hope) had turned the corner. They were both now protecting the very thing that they treasured the most (their marriage) instead of destroying it.
Tears of relief came after this session as they could see how much they did love and support each other and how they could let outside problems creep into their marriage. From that day on they both had vowed to protect their marriage and no matter what happened, they would stick together and love each other (unconditionally) even though at times they may not feel happy or get annoyed with each other. They promised that they would not withdrawal their love for each other or take to criticising each other like before.
Is your marriage or relationship in crisis, we can help you get it back on track?
Please contact us today on 0430 031 681
1 - names have been changed to protect their identity
What Our Clients Are Saying
"My partner and I were on the verge of breaking up when we came to see Troy at the Relate Clinic. After a few sessions, things started to turn around and our relationship significantly improved. - Wendy, Dee Why
Lower North Shore Couple Counselling, Marriage Counselling Lower North Shore, Neutral Bay Couples Counsellor, Northern Beaches - Couple Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Counseling, Christian Counseling, Men's Counseling